March 13, 2010

Smut

Came across this and it gave me a tickle, so I thought I’d share – enjoy! SMUT! by Tom Lehrer Give me smut and nothing but! A dirty novel I can’t shut, If it’s uncut, and unsubt- le. I’ve never quibbled If it was ribald, I would devour where others merely nibbled. As the judge remarked the day that he acquitted my Aunt Hortense, “To be smut It must be ut- Terly without redeeming social importance.” Por- Nographic pictures I adore. Indecent magazines galore, I like them more If they’re hard core. (Bring on the obscene movies, murals, postcards, neckties, samplers, stained-glass windows, tattoos, anything! More, more, I’m still not satisfied!) Stories of tortures Used by debauchers, Lurid, licentious, and vile, Make me smile. Novels that pander To my taste for candor Give me a pleasure sublime. (Let’s face it, I love slime.) All books can be indecent books Though recent books are bolder, For filth (I’m glad to say) is in the mind of the beholder. When correctly viewed, Everything is lewd. (I could tell you things about Peter Pan, And the Wizard of Oz, there’s a dirty old man!) I thrill To any book like Fanny Hill, And I suppose I always will, If it is swill And really fil thy. Who needs a hobby like tennis or philately? I’ve got a hobby: rereading Lady Chatterley. But now they’re trying to take it all away from us unless We take a stand, and hand in hand we fight for freedom of the press. In other words, Smut! (I love it.) Ah, the adventures of a slut. Oh, I’m a market they can’t glut, I don’t know what Compares with smut. Hip hip hooray! Let’s hear it for the Supreme Court! Don’t let them take it away! Mommy Gina 1*888*430*2010